Thursday, January 30, 2014

My old frenemy: food



Food is a funny thing. You need it to live. You can love it. You can hate it. You can blame it for your shortcomings. You can laud it for your successes. It’s sort of like parents in a way. Over the years I have needed my parents, used them as a crutch, blamed them for who-knows-what, praised them but ultimately I’ve come to terms with the full spectrum of influence – good and bad – that they’ve had in  my life. If only I had come so far with food. 

The past month has been a microcosm of my lifelong battle with food. It’s been a snapshot of what my relationship with food has looked like over the years. My first “dieting” memory is on the middle school bus. How my hopes for my own daughter are so drastically different from the tumultuous ride I’ve lived through. Thankfully, I’ve never been in a life threatening situation but I think many people {men & women} can relate to feeling trapped, angry, hopeless, hopeful, elated, balanced --> repeat…all because of food.

I love food. It is a source of creativity, it’s a hobby, and it is the most tangible way that I can love my family. It can also suck me into a vortex of self-loathing and obsession. I’ve never had the body I always wanted. Mostly because my genes won’t allow it. Also because my workouts often consist of lifting a fork to my mouth. More often than not, however, I blame food. It makes me do things. 

Like eat too much :-)

Anyway, this month has been a doozy. I have always been somewhat rebellious to authority. When I am told I have to do something, I sort of want to do the opposite. I have, over the years, learned to manage this behavior but it is still part of my nature that I have to deal with routinely. Strangely, I even seem to rebel against myself when I tell myself, “Self, you have to do ___.” I experience much higher rates of success when I let things happen naturally but the truth is that there is a time for self-discipline. There is a time to introduce new structures and discipline into life. 

We decided to hop onboard with the 21-Day Sugar Detox to sort of reset after the holidays. We’ve been mostly-paleo since November 29, 2011 {it was a cold-turkey switch…for another post} so doing a 21DSD didn’t seem like an epic lifestyle change. 

Apparently my emotional side didn’t get the memo. 

Without going into the detaily-details of my day-to-day life – there were just a lot of emotional ups and downs. We are emo-eaters. Feeling good? Let’s eat! Feeling sad? Let’s eat! Feeling excited, triumphant, frustrated, bored…let’s eat! Normally, with planning and an ounce of self-control, this can be managed. Unfortunately, the remnants of holiday snacks, food gifts, and poor planning gave us plenty of fodder for our emotionally driven feasting. 

Well, I guess on the bright side, all the junk food is gone.

And don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Diane Sanfillippo so don’t be thinkin’ that the 21DSD is a flop. It is a great tool. Her book, Practical Paleo, gave us a great education and plenty of tools for whole, clean eating. It is my go-to cookbook for weekly planning.  *And my kids love to read the section about poop*

I think I need to break up with food for a little while. I just need to focus on planning and prepping the foods I know we enjoy and keep it simple. 

I serve and love a God who carries all my burdens including the demons of disordered eating. For me, this is nothing less than a spiritual battle taking place in my daily routines. And doesn’t that happen to all of us in some way? We all have a “thing” like food…maybe its cars, fashion, child-rearing, crafting, work, cleaning or organizing…whatever. It’s still a thing that binds us. Holds us captive. Maybe you don't believe in God but I am willing to bet you've got something you need to break up, give up, or let go of. For me, this month, it was my old frenemy food. 

*It's already been 6 days since I wrote this and things are better. Taking a step back always seems to do that. I am on sort of a food-hiatus. Don't worry. I'm still feeding my family but mostly stuff that was prepped/frozen weeks ago and thankfully there were 2 nights that we ate away from home. And already I feel less rebellious and emotionally driven in my eating. We'll probably have breakfast for dinner tomorrow and I will be hailed as the best mom on the block for the most unoriginal meal idea EVER.



Wednesday, January 15, 2014

What's for lunch?



People are always making comments about my lunch at work.  Some of these comments are rooted in jealousy.  I mean *seriously* my lunches usually look pretty darn tasty.  Sometimes the comments are born out of misunderstanding.  Take the following conversation into consideration:

Co-worker:  What do you have for lunch Trisha?  Probably a big salad!
Me (smiling):  I have my big salad and some sweet potato and steak.
Co-worker (as she pulls her McD lunch out of its bag):  Wow, that’s a heavy lunch.  

Here’s what I didn’t say: Ha! I am sure my real/whole/balanced lunch will really weigh me down. Let me know how that McD lunch works out for you.  

In all seriousness, though, people are often curious about what I eat for lunch. No bread??? That means no sandwiches!!! No crackers or pretzels or chips or soda or granola bars or Special K bars or…???? How do you do it??? It’s actually fairly simple. Dinner = Lunch. I would say that 90% of the time, I eat leftovers for lunch. Rarely do I create something altogether new for lunch or use convenience lunch foods. I also usually make what Michelle of Nom Nom Paleo calls "emergency protein" which is ground beef or turkey with whatever veggies are in the fridge and seasoned however I feel like it. I occasionally take lunch meat or tuna salad but usually I pack up last night's dinner!  

Here’s a glimpse into what I take to work for lunch. Paleo focuses on plants and protein. That’s how I build my meals. If I get hungry, I eat more plants and protein. And I drink lots of water. It doesn’t have to be fancy-gourmet-artisan-exotic-ethnic-whatever-fare. Just real. Hopefully you can be inspired!  






  




Saturday, January 11, 2014

Oh Saturday...a day ripe with potential and rotten with reality

Today's post is not really how I imagined returning to my little world of blogging.  I was hoping for something with a little more oomph -- if you know what I mean.  My last post was a few months back so you'd think I would have a real whammy for my big comeback.  You'll have to really scroll down a ways to get to paleo-relevant things. I think what will end up happening here, though, is more of a fill-in-the-gaps sort of thing.  Today is Saturday.  So full of ambition. So lacking in realistic perspective.  Here is a little picture journey of the day so far.
  insert: MAYHEM!
 insert: CHAOS!
 insert: DESPAIR!
 
 insert: REVOLT!
 NAPS!

Yep, we're still a mostly-paleo family. 

Yep, holiday-eating was a big de-railing event just like it was for most of America. 

 Nope, no New Year's resolutions this year.  Just tryin' to stay the course.

That pretty much brings you up to speed :-)

Like many of you, I am a working mom who is {unsuccessfully} trying to DO IT ALL.  This isn't a major psychological thing for me like it can be for many women and -- believe me -- I feel for them.  The weight of our burdens can be heavier than those last 10lbs will ever be.

For me, it's more of a tidal wave of ideas that trickles down to a few drops of actual getting-it-done.

I've taken on a lot more DIY types of things around the house this fall and winter. Food, skin care, and cleaning products have been the main areas of DIY-ness.

I have successfully made vapor rub, luxurious {that's what the recipe said, not me, although it is} lotion, no-(sham)poo concoctions, detox baths for the cave-kids, drinks for colds, and a cough medicine drink.  Most of this stuff I put on Pinterest so that's where you can find links {Trisha Gudeman is my Pinterest name. And my actual name}. 

Here's a glimpse into the glamorous life of making your own skincare products:
1. Wait till the kids go to bed.
2. Shower!
3. Clear a spot on the stove so the burners are available for use.
4. Melt stuff {in this case beeswax, shea butter, avocado oil, and coconut oil}.

 

We {by we, I mean me} are attempting to make more of our staple foods like mayonnaise, ketchup, bbq sauce...all of which we {meaning I} have done but we {I} can never keep them stocked so it is sort of a rotation of homemade-->storebought-->homemade-->storebought--> Presently, we have homemade mayo, organic storebought ketchup, and death-in-a-bottle bbq sauce.

We got a dehydrator for Christmas!  Yay!  Scary!  I am not really a small-kitchen-appliance type of girl.  I am pretty loyal to by stove/oven and refrigerator and dishwasher.  But in the name of reducing our consumption of storebought snack foods, this could be a great thing.  The cave kids love dried fruit, jerky, and I am hoping to bring them over the veggie-chip-loving-dark{bright}-side.  The cave-girl has big plans for fruit leather!  Our first dehydrating project was KIWI! It was cheap at Costco and it's full of vitamin C {more than an orange!} so it seemed like the right thing to do. At least that's what my dehydrator-moral-compass was telling me.  I'll see at 6pm if it was right. We filled that strange looking machine up with every tray full of kiwi slices, cranked it to 135*, and stared at it for a few minutes before normal life resumed.


We also made our own gummies last night and they are A.W.E.S.O.M.E.  I used the recipe from Balanced Bites and fiddled with it just a wee bit.  I used the blueberry variation which ended up being mixed berries because that's what was in the freezer.  It was going to be rather sour as far as the sweet/sour ratio was concerned so I reduced the lemon juice to about 3/4 c. and added 1 c. water.  I think the recipe calls for more gelatin than is necessary so I'll reduce that the next time {and YES, there will be a next time!} I make them.  The Great Lakes gelatin says 1 Tbs gelatin /pint of liquid.  After some inter-webs research I was reminded that a pint = 2 cups.  The recipe calls for more than this ratio so I am going to use the container recommendation as a guide next time. I got gelatin at Amazon.

So, that's how our paleo life continues.  Both kids have made hilarious paleo-related statements recently. Here's a sampling...

Me: We aren't going to eat the snacks they have there, we'll bring our own.
M (3yo)(hands on hips, disappointed-parent-face): Are they gonna have gwians?

Me: Ok, we are going to try making these gummies.  We'll see how it goes.
G (6yo): Are they paleo?
Me: Yup.
G: OH GOOD!!!! I LOVE PALEO!!!!
(displaying a completely inappropriate amount of excitement for the actual event taking place)(although the gummies were pretty fun to make)

We started a 21-Day Sugar Detox on 01/06/14 and it's been really terrible.  Not the detox program!!!

Us.

It's been a crazy/crappy/normal/wintery/gray week and routine never set in.  Christmas break hasn't really ended for the kids because THEY KEEP GETTING SNOW DAYS WHEN IT ISN'T SNOWING.  Since we already eat mostly-paleo this is not a great tragedy but it does seem to point to the fact that we really do need a reset. We have always been emotional eaters, especially in the winter {blerg}, so a reset can be really helpful after a particularly emtional {good or bad} time.  So, rather than quitting we'll keep on keepin' on. 

The nice thing is that we've eaten all the junky food in the house this past week.

Until next time {which hopefully won't be sooooooo long}!
Trisha